goodnight i made you a song goodbye
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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