she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
