I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I need water and some morals
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
