We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
