ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
operation have a gay friend backfired
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
