I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
