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I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
