You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
