You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
