is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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