the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
