Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
