Having a random hookup so left but love u
We need to rekindle our bromance
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
