I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
