Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
