If i come over, it means nothing
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
