My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
