who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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