Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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