no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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