If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Someone shit on the floor
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
