I just made out with a guy for $7.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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