She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
