last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
