I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The power of my boobs compel you
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
