i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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