What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
