Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
