My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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