Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
