Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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