Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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