This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
