THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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