So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
