But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
