just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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