what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
