2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
