I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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