I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
