The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
