i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
