Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
