we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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