Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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