I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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