We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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