So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
