Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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